Posted on Sunday, 23 December 2007
History Lesson:
The name for the seat (or seats) adjacent to that of the driver comes to us from the American "old"/"wild" west. Aside from a railroad ticket, Stagecoach was the only means of transport during this period. Stagecoaches were also a common means of transporting things of value (eg... payroll money, high ticket merchandise). In this period of lawlessness and hostile (with every right) natives, protection was necessary. Admittedly most people back then were packing some heat, but for added safety, a stagecoach would always have an extra man. He would sit right next to the driver and was armed with a shotgun. This was known as riding shotgun; hence we have “shotgun” to call the front seat of a vehicle.
Rules so far:
1. The shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in sight of the car
2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey you are automatically given shotgun. You retain this position for the entire journey, unless you violate rules 12, 17, 23 or any other rules stipulating the loss of shotgun.
3. You cannot declare shotgun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.
4. When simultaneous shotgun is called, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from all the people who called.
5. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless you are in a multi-storey or underground car park!)
6. Shotgun cannot be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey.
7. Once shotgun has been called the driver has the option of a reload. The driver yells “reload” and this means that all previous calls of shotgun are void and the first person to call shotgun again gets the seat. This is helpful if the driver really doesn’t like the person who first called shotgun. It is often used when there is a simultaneous call and the driver is unsure of the outcome. Note that a shotgun has only 2 barrels so a reload can only be called once.
8. Ja rob rule...if he’s in the car shotgun now means back left, so he cant punch you every time a yellow car goes past.
9. Once shotgun has been called for the front seat then back left and back right can be called. This effectively leaves the slowest person to travel in the middle (of the “bitch” seat).
10. Because everyone is created equal, men have the same right to the front seat of the car as women (ie women don't own the front seat!).
11. If the regular driver of the vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given shotgun.
12. Once the journey has begun, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if they feel the road requires their full attention, or they simply cannot be arsed any more, duty is passed to the shotgunner. However putting on crap tunes or allowing for silence when the iPod finishes a song or ANY instances of TAKE THAT will result in demotion to bitch seat.
13. Anyone calling shotgun must have his or her shoes on. This is to stop people running outside and calling shotgun, then having to go back inside to put their shoes on and slowing the journey. This is known as the Shoe Rule.
14. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsies and other girly calls!
15. Despite the debate, shotgun CAN be used to shotgun things other than the front seat (eg back left, back right, women, not going to answer the door, etc).
16. When travelling with a couple, one of the couple MUST shotgun the front. No one wants to chauffer two of their mates whilst they are in the back all over each other.
17. If someone has successfully called shotgun, they have the right to the front seat. They do not have the right to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving"). If the passenger does this, then they forfeit their position as shotgun holder.
18. If someone says, "what’s shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk.
19. If the shotgunner attempts to open the door just as the driver is unlocking it and jams the lock half open so that the driver needs to lock it and unlock it again, the shotgunner forfeits their position. This is known as shotgun suicide.
20. The holder of shotgun assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off license nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is in essence the copilot and therefore the enforcer of behavior in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/water spraying/bag throwing at the passengers in the back.
21. Automatic "couple's rights act 1997". This law states that, if the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, this person has the right to the seat of their choice.
22. If one of the potential occupants of the vehicle is dressed (convincingly) as a pirate then they are given automatic shotgun. In the event of more than one pirate being present, a sword fight shall determine the successful shotgunner. This is known as The Pirate Rule.
23. When driving past a woman walking a dog, everyone in the car must shout out the window, "who's walking who?” It is the shotgunner’s responsibility and failure to spot potential heckling, results in demotion to the bitch seat!
24. When riding in a 2 or 3 door car, it is the responsibility of the shotgunner to allow rear passengers in and out of the back of the car, NOT THE DRIVERS!! Regardless of the weather conditions.
25. Obviously the previous rule on the subject didn’t clarify things completely with everyone coming up with a new rule that over rules shotgun. NOTHING overrules shotgun. Shotgun is final and cannot be overruled!!!!
26. It is the successful shotgunners responsibility to be on the look out for any police and/or speed cameras. if the shotgunner doesn't spot a speed camera and this results in a speeding ticket it is immediately their fault and not the drivers.
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Posted on Friday, 28 September 2007
Over the last few days I have been watching with interest from the sidelines the whole unlocked iPhone + update = iBrick saga unfolding in the US. This got me thinking. When the iPhone does officially come to Australia, what will our plan look like. The plans offered to US iPhone customers are pretty darn appealing when you look at them. The cheapest $59.99USD ($69 Aus) plan has the following features: | Monthly Price | $69 | | Minutes | 450 | | Data (Email/Web) | Unlimited | | SMS Text Messages | 200 | | Nights & Weekends | 5000 | | Mobile to Mobile | Unlimited | So how do we compare ... well let's make up a similar plan assuming 1GB of data with Telstra: | Monthly Price | $80 | | 450 Minutes | $164 ($70 included in plan) | | 1GB Data (Email/Web) | $89 | | 200 SMS Text Messages | $50 | | 5000 Minutes for nights & Weekends | you're kidding ($2,600) | | Mobile to Mobile | No way dude | Leaving out the $2,600 and mobile to mobile, it works out at $383 per month, and that does not include the flagfall cost for every call you make. It is obvious that an iPhone simply can't work with this type of plan as it makes it a $4,596 a year device. So what will the plan really look like, well let's look at optus' blackberry plan. BlackBerry $79 Cap Plan $79 per month for up to $300 worth of: - voice calls
- text messages
- plus unlimited BlackBerry email and Internet browsing*
| Plan | BlackBerry $79 Cap Plan | Call types included in your cap | | Inclusions per month | Unlimited BlackBerry email & Internet* and up to $300 of included value | - Standard voice calls - local, national, mobile
- National SMS
- VoiceMail
- National Photo Messaging
- Push to talk
- International voice calls
- International SMS
- 124YES(937)
- National Video Calling
| | Monthly access fee | $79 | | Call rate (per 30 secs) | 35c | | Flagfall (per call) | 30c | | National SMS (per message of 160 characters) | 25c | | Term | 24 months | * Includes email traffic and Internet access through the BlackBerry Internet Browser and/or the BlackBerry Browser up to the specified limit. Use of any other services will be charged at the rates specified in the Optus standard agreement. So I predict that Apple will sit at the negotiation table with the major telco's and propose a plan similar to the current blackberry plan, which is still $948 per year. You can definitely expect it to be single carrier only, and at least a 24 month lock in. This also shows how much we are being ripped off in Australia compared to the US.
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Posted on Wednesday, 26 September 2007
So in a effort to regain some Orwellian control of the bitorrent addicted viewing public, Australia's Channel 7 they have launched into a campaign called fast tracked. This claims that you are seeing a program the same time the US does. Except that it is a pile of complete bullshit. (Can I say bullshit on my own blog ?) Heroes premieres next week on 7 (4th of October), however it has already gone to air in the states on NBC, so it went to air on Monday the 24th. So "See it the same time the US does", actually means, See it a week or so after the US does, because we think that you won't be clever enough to realise that it has already shown in the US.
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Posted on Tuesday, 18 September 2007
I cop a bit of flack where I work for not using live.com as my search engine instead of Google. Well here are two reason's why I'm not changing until the live team fixes them. 1. Quality of the search results One of my co-workers was after the link to the Microsoft learning "second shot free" promotion. Using Google. the results where as follows: Microsoft Second Shot Exam Free Offer for Pearson VUE from ... GetCertify4Less.com offers Microsoft Pearson VUE Microsoft vouchers, take Microsoft test at Pearson VUE, if you have fail test, second shot at Pearson VUE ... Microsoft Certification Overview – Microsoft Certified ... Retake Microsoft certification exams for free with Exam Insurance · Why employ an MCP? Find a qualified MCP · The New Generation of Microsoft Certifications ... So, a booth babe and a geek walk in to a bar... - Register for Register for your free 'Second Shot' on your next exam. As of now, you can get going on your next exam knowing that if you don't pass it, you can take it ... Here are the results from live.com VOM Australia: Egyptian Army attacks Patmos Christian Centre Heritage of Handcuffs; Fanatical Silence; BURMA: Military Government Asks for List of Christians; ERITREA: More than 2000 in Prison for Religious Beliefs; Subscribe to the Free Monthly Newsletter Microsoft Certification Overview – Microsoft Certified Professionals ... See available certifications. Visit the MCP member site. Retake Microsoft certification exams for free with Exam Insurance. Why employ an MCP? Find a qualified MCP ONE Agency believes in a new way of communicating with respect for the ... ONE Agency is a full-service interactive agency, specialized in new interactive marketing and ... 2. Performance Here in Australia, an average search in Google takes 2 seconds, whilst live.com takes 4. That's a 100% performance improvement. 2 seconds may not sound like much, but when you are used to a certain level of performance, you can really notice any difference.
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Posted on Saturday, 09 June 2007
The local sailing club car park used to be a playground for hoons. So in their infinite wisdom the local council installed concrete barriers to stop cars from doing circlework in the car park. There is one minor problem with that however. Most boats that come to the sailing club come on trailers and the concrete blocks that they so intelligently installed leaves no where for vehicles with trailers to park in marked spaces. So if you have a trailer, you have to to just park wherever you can. Just like this driver did: 
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Posted on Saturday, 09 June 2007
I really have to wonder sometimes. I stayed in a hotel for three days last week and in the bathroom was a wonder of modern technology, the telephone. I think that having a phone in easy reach when you are on the loo is a brilliant idea. I like it so much that I am going to install one at home. Just so that I there is no chance I won't inconvenience any telemarketers if they decide to call. Seriously. Any person that thinks this is a good idea needs to have their head examined.
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